Thank you for the kind words yet I don’t think it’s my online listening skills here. I think this is a topic that many people are passionate about and it has a touched a nerve within themeetings/event and association industry.

Thanks for adding to the conversation and sharing how free information works for you.

I offer tons of free information in the form of written blog posts, videos, teleseminars and a social networking site that connects thousands of like-minded people. Not only does it support my business financially, it sustains my personal commitment to serve. Sharing, empowering and connecting with other people is ultimately why we are all on this earth. The ability to do those things and earn a living simultaneously is rewarding, not only for me but for the people I serve.

Thanks for the thorough explanation and yes, there are applications to our world.

ok, to reply to your post,

Well you are right, if no one is communicating, a meltdown is pretty much inevitable. But even in meltdowns there are opportunities. The one mistake I repeatedly made early in my musical career was not understanding how frightened and vulnerable your average conductor or manager was. I also consistently failed to understand just how much power *I* had in these seemingly hopeless situations. Now that I know better, well, granted, there is no magic bullet, but if one is to break the logjam of disconnection, there is no reason why you can’t “take responsibility” yourself and thereby be the impetus to fixing the problem, no matter where you are in an organization.

What finally dawned on me was that the power of perception works no matter where you are in the hierarchy. No matter how powerful or high up someone is, they are still a human being, and they need the same strokes and sense of connection as everyone else. So whenever I am confronted with a person who is “perception challenged,” I don’t complain about it, because that can only make it worse. When people are in that disconnected /fearful state, no amount of logic will get thru to them. I counter it by the one thing that might work, which is actively listening to them. It’s often amazing what effect this can have. Granted, it doesn’t always work, but if you can reestablish a sense of connection, you are halfway home, because it was the sense of disconnection was causing most of the problems of the first place. And besides, what better way to train them than by example? Got to start someplace.

I must admit, I can see how people can be listening-challenged. I came to understand the power of listening late in life. I had been too long operating under the impression that it was my job to compete for “airtime” and get people to listen to me. I was under the impression that if you are doing listening you are in a subservient position to the person doing the talking. I have now come to believe that the person who does the most listening is the person with the most power. i wonder if others have this problem, of being taught to approach people competitively rather than perceptually, and if so how you are adjusting.

Just speaking philosophically here, re: “responsibility,” there’s a tendency in organizations to believe that for every problem, there should be an official process to fix it. But there is be something to be said for the idea that individual initiative, not official process, is a better fix for some problems. Just one example, while orchestras are bureaucracies on steroids, within that culture, it is understood that there are times and places when command and control of the entire operation may fall upon this or that person, and when that happens, they must step into the primary leadership role, and everyone else defers. The good conductors understand this and stay out of the way. The lesser ones prevent it, and then they wonder why, with so much control being maintained and exercised, the concert still flopped.

I like to talk about conductors because many people like to think of the “dictator conductor” as the ideal manager, when in fact what goes on a major symphony orchestra is remarkably complex teamwork. It’s not the answer to every problem, but I hope you find the perspective to be interesting. I would be curious to know if these comments have any application in your world

best,

–jl